WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

The right time isn’t there, trust me. The now time is here and shouldn’t be passed up. I don’t know how many times I and others have used the excuse that “now isn’t the right time.”  “Maybe when ” is the follow up to that sentence. Quit smiling, because I just called out your bluff and no, I’m not a mind reader, I’m just a participant in the excuses of life. I challenge you to take this journey with me and let’s change our lives right here and right now. I will send out beginning questions to have you write down answers so you can reflect on what you’re stuck point/excuses are that are holding you back. Please join in and feel free to share any or all.

Grab a special notebook.  This is one of my favorites from Amazon, go check it out.           <iframe style=”width:120px;height:240px;” marginwidth=”0″ marginheight=”0″ scrolling=”no” frameborder=”0″ src=”//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=lifecoachi054-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00M7QRAQM&asins=B00M7QRAQM&linkId=e68dfdf5de32219ee3cfec1fd345db6e&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066C0&bg_color=FFFFFF”>

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It’s best to personally pick out one that means something to you. Remember this is your life, so make it a special one you can come back to and add or just reflect over time. Get ready to become a writer of your own life. Writing is a wonderful way to slow down your brain and it teaches you to process slower as your brain translates to your hand, which writes it out on paper. If you feel more comfortable typing out your journal on your computer, that will speed things up but it’s important to do what works best for your brain process. When I was in college, as an adult, the younger kids made fun of me because when I studied I would read the text, highlight the book, listen to the teacher’s lectures and then to prep for the test I would type out all the notes and highlighted areas. Yes, this did take a lot more time however, I wanted to really understand what I was meant to learn and as an older learner, I wanted my money’s worth so had to get an “A”, which I did. Note: I put my report card on the refrigerator to show my teenage boys I got all A’s. One of my adorable sons wrote on the report card, “OVER ACHIEVER!” Gotta love them.

Please take the time to also write down each question and then say it out loud. It’s a part of the processing to your thoughts become your words which become your actions. This will come in handy when I teach you to do a vision board.

Question:

  1. IF I COULD DO ANYTHING I WANTED, WHAT WOULD THAT BE?
  2. WHAT’S STOPPING ME FROM DOING THAT?

I Should Be So Lucky

family pictureLuck is defined by many as a random chance of good fortune however, we do have resources and skills to make the probability of creating the proper environment to have a bigger chance for luck to come our way. Those who have been bestowed with good fortune often hear the statement, “Must be nice,” or, “You are so lucky,” as though the person had nothing to do with their good fortune. It may be true that if you play the lottery one time and win the big bucks this may have been 99%  luck, however, if you never had the thought or vision you may not have went to the store and took the time to play, therefore, the chance would have never presented itself.

Being able to process in a manner of long-term outcomes can bring what others concede to being good luck. Such as if I do this, then that may happen and if this doesn’t, then my next step toward my goal may be this, and what might be the avenue I take if this outcome presents.  Many times I hear young students in school state, “ I will never use this, why do I have to do it?” The lesson here is that the more processing and problem-solving we train our brain to do the more likely we are in figuring out the possible outcomes that others perceive as luck.

 

*Learning to be a good problem solver and the stamina not to give up when the outcome hasn’t gone our way, but to look at the obstacles, as our next challenge to solving our puzzle which will bring good luck onto us.

 

*Asking those who present as lucky,  questions and being inquisitive to the possibilities of creating one’s own luck as others have done in relationships or careers.

 

*Visualizing what your good luck and fortune is for you and continue to mindfully create your own luck.

 

*Our thoughts, become our words, become our actions. I do believe we can create our own luck with believing in ourselves, not looking for instant gratification, and being grateful and mindful when luck or good fortune does come our way even if it is just getting the green light in our everyday travels.

 

*Recognizing luck is often hard work and not a chance event in most cases.

 

*Finally, whether you have been chosen randomly by an act of fate to be  “the lucky one” or put hard efforts into your good fortune, it is always more fulfilling if you share your knowledge and wealth to help others.

 

Me First

MORNING RISE AND SHINE

We are all instilled with values firstly from our parents then the type of society that we were brought up in. Once we become older it can be difficult to acknowledge our own values and what makes us whole as opposed to what makes others think well of us. When we struggle with what others think of us or what their norm is, we loss a part of our own happiness and the stress can take a toll on our health as well. We sometimes carry guilt that we are not meeting up to our mentor’s expectations which is unhealthy for our own psyche. Giving of ourselves is a powerful gift to assist others in their happiness, however, it is an important part of our own well being to take care of ourselves first. It not only allows us to have more to give others but also sets a good example and shows strong values to those who are looking up to us.

Self-care is what drives us to be better human beings. If we are taking care of our own mental and physical health, we mindfully become stronger at accepting change and acknowledging what we have no control over, which in the long run can bring inner peace through the rough times of our lives. If we are practicing everyday self-care, we present with an aura of clarity to bring forth our best for ourselves and others.

Is self-care really a selfish act as we are thinking of what will make us better instead of putting others before our own needs? Sometimes that falsehood may present, however, the true fact is, if we have taken care of ourselves, we have our best to give and help others, therefore, it is a win-win situation. If we put others before ourselves and become burned out with our own needs, then we are neglecting our true authenticity of what we were meant to be and give during our time on this planet.

 

Angela Tennyson, Crisis Clinician, MHP, Life Coach, CADC

www.lifecoachingfromwithin.com

 

Having Faith- A Crisis Clinician’s Safety Plan

Working as a crisis clinician who evaluates suicidal and homicidal clients, can bring on a different perspective to everyday living. Repeatedly, seeing people in their worst state of mind can take a toll on your own processing as a therapist has their own downtime. My job consists of going from one crisis to another, whether it be at a client’s residence, the county jail, or a hospital emergency room, I am implementing my skills and talents to calm others and give them hope that their lives and processing can get better. The challenge is to know my boundaries and abilities with the realization that everything cannot be fixed. I firmly believe to be an authentic clinician I must practice what I preach with my own life recommendations to my clients.

 

Don’t take anything personal. At times my recommendations are not well accepted and another crisis can develop that will have to be de-escalated. Even though clients are brought in for their own safety when not in their right mind they may push against my recommendation and this can turn into a crisis in itself. Presenting with a calm demeanor and being vigilant to hear others concerns along with knowing I may be the only one in the room with a right processing mind keeps me grounded.

 

Stick with the facts. Many times it is our own mind that begins to ruminate the worse case scenario. The making of a mountain from a molehill often happens and it is healthy processing to stick with the facts not all the “what ifs” that could possibly happen and probably will not.

 

Giving to me so I can give to you. It is the best thing ever to give yourself and talents to assist others, however, if I haven’t given to myself first, I will not have my best to give to others. My gifts to myself include proper sleep, downtime, family, laughter, a good massage, lazy pajama days, time with animals, nature to rejuvenate peace and energy in my life. I remember to have good self-care, know when to say no to others, and enjoy everyday miracles that are all around me.

 

Seek help from professionals to process. Yes, it is very true that we professionals reach out to our colleagues and supervisors to processes difficult cases we are dealing with. It is so important for us to be able to let go of these traumatic events so when going into next evaluation we are clear minded to make the beneficial recommendations for our clients.

 

Never lose hope and faith in life. Listening to some of the most horrific stories of emotional neglect, physical and sexual abuse, along with suicidal and homicidal ideations with detailed plans to harm one’s self or others can be very depressing and bring on anxiety to the clinician. The job I choose has taken me to an unfiltered world of pain and reality that many have to live daily. Trying to implement small acknowledgments of hope that tomorrow will be a little better and faith that this too shall pass, is sometimes all I can offer to assist those in surviving their hopelessness.

 

Compartmentalizing negativity.  Yes, it is a fact that we live in a world that many times is hateful and unkind. Some people in life will have to endure unthinkable traumas and may give up on life. I feel I can learn from the negative events in the world and have it help me grow into a better, caring, loving human being who was put on this earth not to see what the universe has for me, but to recognize what I have to give this universe while I am given the gift to be on this earth.

 

A day is only 24 hours long. Realizing each day is only 24 hours long and if we are fortunate, we get the gift to have a do-over to be the best we can the next day. Learning the lessons of the day before, utilizing the knowledge from failures and striving to have better insight for the present is the key to being a better you. Moving forward each and every day to give our lives the best we have to give wards off depression and anxiety for this clinician. Being a better me helps me to help you be a better you.

 

Angela Tennyson, Crisis Clinician, MHP, CADC, Life Coach

What’s In It For Me? The Contributer

Going through life trying to see how much you can get out of it isn’t a bad thing, however, if you live with the expectation that others owe you something and you are entitled to it, you are missing the true gift of life. It is true, we only have one life to live on this earth. YOLO is a catchphrase for You Only Live Once. With this being true, have you taken time to contemplate what you were put on this earth to contribute to a better everlasting future world? While trying to see what others are offering you for supportive services daily, I ask you the question, “What are you doing to contribute your part?”

Living your life waiting for what others can do for you may work day to day, however, I will bet, you are not content and feel the need to always have more. You see, there are two types of people, the givers and the takers. From my experience, I find even though exhausted at times, and asking one’s self, why do I keep doing this, the givers by far are more satisfied with life. They have an attitude of gratitude for other’s wellbeing. The givers are put on this earth to assist others and make a better place, or a solitary moment better for mankind. Givers are taken advantage of many times by their jobs, family, friends and many times total strangers. The takers somehow feel they are entitled to all the givers have to give with the mentality of “must be nice,” feeling they should have the rewards of the giver although, they have done nothing to earn the rewards.

Wondering if you are the giver or the taker? 

THE TAKER

*Presents angry, sad and bored with life.

*Unfulfilled and apathetic with their everyday routine.

*Working in life to make enough money to pay your bills and buy material things for yourself to prove you are an active member of society, shown by your material things.

*You are in search of what others can do for you and will shout out, “this isn’t fair” or, “ it’s too hard” often to others.

THE GIVER

*Often the one looking to give your last minute of the day to help someone else.

*Many times exhausted, underpaid, overworked, unappreciated and expected to give more.

* The person others look up to, you are the one that everybody comes to for safety.

*You have dedicated your personal and professional life to assist others and help them in some way get through their lives a bit easier.

*You lay your head down on the pillow at night and still find reasons to be grateful and feel that with the help of God, you may have made a difference in someone’s life.

As exhausting as it is at times, I choose to be a giver. I choose to try and take care of others in their time of need. I choose to challenge my being and life that was a gift to make a difference to those who have given to me. I choose to believe that I was put here on this earth to make a difference and I am not owed a thing. I appreciate what I have earned monetarily however, it will never match the exhausted peace of mind I have each day knowing, with God’s help, I am making a difference.

For all the givers, please be conscious to take care of yourself as well, as if we don’t have our own inner peace there is no inner peace to give to others. Here’s to all the givers, bless you with all life has to throw your way.

Finding Peace

MORNING RISE AND SHINE

The daily stress and pain on your face are showing. The lost flatten affect of worry presents on your face. Rumination of negative thoughts consumes your mind of how you should be in a better place. In constant search of a fantasy called inner peace, you seem to always be waiting to arrive. Ridden with anxiety and worry that every moment will have a terrible outcome is blinding you from the daily miracles you are missing. Your mindset is slowly aching your body and aging your presences.

This is no way to live, however, numerous tries of finding that secret, that dream life, that one thing that will make everything better. An Eagle’s song rings in my head with the message, “So often we live our lives in chains never realizing, we hold the key.” Such a powerful message to be processed and utilized to that internal pain. It certainly brings to heart the question, “Am I really to blame for my own misery?”

Many written books and lectures have been presented to the world in the past decade of a positive mindset. Where our minds take us is where we will live. Learning to stop the negative ruminations and replacing them with the positive is not an easy task if you have habitually looked to the pessimistic side of life, however, may be learned if you have the stamina and the will to change your life. No, it is not easy, yes, it is hard, but truly is worth it and will allow you to move forward in your life if you only put in the effort and time. Oh the word, time. You don’t have the time, right? Wrong! You have to make the time and all of us have it. Step away for breaks at work, the travel time to and from work, in the bathroom if needed, alone for a walk, you have time. It is amazing if you turn off the phone and t.v., just how much time is available in life to change your ways.

Here are some new thought-provoking ideas to ponder.

 

Be your own best friend.

To do this you have to first find the reason you like yourself. Self-esteem and seeing the positive attributes you have to give is key to a good relationship with yourself and later with others.

 

Be kind to yourself.

Give yourself some slack when you make a mistake. Mistakes were made to be learned lessons to become a better decision maker. If you don’t fail, how will you learn stamina? Always remember, failure only happens when you stop trying. If you are still working on getting it right you have not failed at all.

 

Get out of your own mind.

When we are consumed with all the things that are wrong with us and our world, we present as self-centered. It is amazingly so that if we make our lives around helping others, being kind and generous with our time and talents, tenfold will come back to us.

 

Stop looking for that one thing that is going to make your life.

Life is a journey and you are not meant to arrive at a certain destination. Life is an up and down ever cycling path of choices that will present rewards or consequences. Each choice you make is a fork in the road from your past experiences and offered advice from others you trust. Take it all in and move forward in that direction.

 

Never, ever give up!

“This too shall pass.” Where you are is not where you will be unless you stop moving. Always have a future orientation of positive upcoming events to look forward to. If you are blinded and can’t see them at this time, dream of what your life would look like if it were happy and strive to achieve that for your future.

 

Pray and believe you are not alone on your journey.

Believe in God or your higher power and that you are never alone in this world. There is always a spiritual presence that is trying to guide you in the right direction if you would just stop and listen.

 

Be still.

Learn to be still in your own presence. Mark out small times in your day to use your 5 senses. Be still and quiet within yourself to see, hear, feel, taste and smell the presence around you. Take in deep belly breaths to a count of 10, hold for 10 and slowly blow out for 10. It is amazing how well this works in relaxing you.

 

Stretch as often each day as needed.

We carry stress in our bodies without even realizing all the tension that has built up from the last confrontation we lived. It can even be the confrontation in our own mind. Slowly give yourself a body scan stretch in each area of your body. Recognize where your tightest areas are and give them the release they need.

 

Laugh.

Whether you are reading a funny book,  watching a comedy on t.v., hanging with friends, or finding humor in other’s behaviors, which is my favorite, laugh out loud every day, several times a day.

 

Good nutrition and sleep.

Eat well, indulge now and then and most of all, acknowledge that rest is a wonderful gift.

 

Be selfish

With love and compassion, give to yourself first as you have nothing to give unless you have it yourself. May you take the time for yourself to give yourself peace as you are the only one that can.

 

Go outside

Just getting outside can make all the difference in the world with your emotional stability. Take in and be grateful for the openness and the infinite free space you were given.

 

Know when it’s time to seek professional help

As strong as we all are and want to deal with our own problems, there are professionals trained in assisting you through your rough spots. Don’t try and be a hero, take the help.

 

Meditate

There are wonderful studies showing the positive effects of meditating and free apps to download to practice anytime and anywhere.

 

Take a mental vacation

We all have recollections of past good times whether it be a momentous event or a vacation many years ago. Take time to go relive the happy times in your life and know that there will be more to come.

 

Angela Tennyson, Crisis Clinician, Life Coach

lifecoachingfromwithin.com

It’s Too Hard

being-thankful

Working day in and day out in a profession with people, I often hear the words, “it’s too hard.” I’m not sure why being hard, gives anyone a ticket to give up but in today’s society it seems to be your out to feeling any sort of uncomfortableness or pain. The old saying, “If it was easy, everyone would do it,” is a wrap around of what my message is today. Those who succeed in life aren’t’ the ones who stopped at the point of anxiousness or fear of the unknown. They didn’t stand back and wait for someone else to do it for them so it wasn’t hard. They accepted the challenge and reaped the rewards that were given for their efforts.

In today’s society, it presents that more and more people are trying to avoid any type of disagreeable feelings or hardship but yet still want the rewards others have gained from going through the pain. How is it that one can gain anything from a handout other than a brief instant gratification? Why do they feel entitled to what others have put their hard mental and physical efforts towards to move forward in life?  We are becoming a society of wimps or entitlist who are always shouting out, “that isn’t fair,” or “I deserve this.” “Must be nice,” is another comment I hear when someone has earned what another wants. If you want what someone else has earned, then go out and do what they did to earn it.

Pride, fulfillment, and wisdom are the rewards one earns from taking on the hard challenges and suffering through the process of failure but not giving up until the task is completed. Finding the lessons that are along the way to the path of success is a reward in itself. No one can take away from you your life’s struggles but I promise you, hiding from them, self-anesthetizing them or avoiding them will not allow you to have the full life God intended you to have. Fear and anxiety are two very big motivators of change if the challenge is taken. Growth and prosperity are the gifts life will reward you with in the end. Go out and do hard things and be all you can be.

Lean Towards The Positive

stand out don't blend

Somewhere in my past, I took on a bad habit of always projecting the negative outcome so as if it really happened this would buffer my discomfort. Thankfully, with time, age, maturity, and a more powerful spiritual being, I am retraining my brain to be hopeful for the best outcome. I have decided that it only hurts me to constantly put my mind and body through the worst possible scenario and truly it doesn’t make things easier if it happens. I still have to go through the same processing and disappointment so I am literally, making myself go through it twice every time it happens.

Giving much thought to this lately, that means I am doubling my stress level and wasting precious “mind time” on negativity. Hold up! The aha moment has come as I have begun to hold myself accountable for mentally beating up on myself. From this day forward, I will try and retrain my brain to see the positive outcome. To believe there is good out there for me and to be hopeful that it will come my way. If and when a situation plays out and there is a negative outcome, I will take it as a learning lesson and have confidence that I have been through a lifetime amount of played out situations that haven’t gone in my favor and handled most of them with grace.

I will continue to put positive thoughts out to the universe and believe that there is good to be had and I am worth receiving it. I will stop doubling my mind and body stress load and allow my life to play out with passion and dignity. I will keep a grateful attitude for the good that will come and a humbling attitude for the lessons that will come when I make poor choices. Rewarded or woke up from my own decisions, at least I am now armed with a healthy perception that sometimes I am in control of my outcome and sometimes I am not. But I do know one thing, I will survive and be stronger and I have faith that I will be able to handle what life has for me with God’s help and that brings me peace.

Have a blessed day.

**Side note; I did believe I would win the Powerball but I forgot to move to Massachusetts first:)

Angela Tennyson, MHP, CADC, Crisis Clinician, Author

www.lifecoachingfromwithin.com

atennyson27@gmail.com